


The Cat Bureau meets the Crystal Gems

by Number_Twelve



Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [9]
Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: Muta and Amethyst meet at a restaurant and become friends due to their shared passion for angel cake (and really, any kind of food). Then the Bureau and the Gems must work toguether to figure out a case. And, unsurprisingly, it seems to work well.
Relationships: Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru, Garnet/Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe), Renaldo Moon/Toto
Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740934
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [QueenHeadphones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHeadphones/gifts), [Catsafari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsafari/gifts).



> I just had this idea thanks to this:  
> Steven=Haru  
> Baron=Pearl  
> Amethyst=Muta  
> Garnet=Toto
> 
> Pretty cool, eh?  
> Also, some things might not fit according to the series, since I don't have access to them in Netflix (thanks a lot, Netflix). But I am trying my best to write this properly, so please leave some feedback and tell me if I did a proper job. Looking forward to hearing from all of you :)

Muta could always be found in a restaurant at the cross roads. He always went there, since the waiters in the restaurant had a soft spot for the stray and often fed him. Of course, then came the day when he found that a purple cat was already occupying his usual spot. Muta already wasn't in a good mood (Toto had been harassing him again because he had called him an oversized pigeon), and seeing another cat on his seat pissed the feline off. He didn't even stop to question why in the world the cat had purple fur. 

"Oi, you!" Muta said, propping his paws up on the edge of the seat. The other feline turned her head to look at him with dark indigo eyes. "Yeah, you. That's my seat you are currently occupying." 

"Can't you just, I don't know, move to another chair? I was napping before you interrupted me." the other cat said in a tired voice. Muta scowled. 

"Point is, kid, that seat is already claimed." he said. The other cat rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

"Gee, fine, I will move to another seat." she said, getting up and easily jumping on the table. She then walked over to the chair next to his and settled down, letting go a huge yawn as she settled down. Muta jumped onto his own spot and crouched there, his mind racing with annoyed thoughts. Te other feline looked him over with scrutinizing eyes. 

"You don't look very bright today. Did your owner die or somethin'?" she asked. Muta gave her a sided look and then set his eyes back on the nearly empty crossroads. 

"Had an annoying encounter with a stupid bird." he answered. The other feline rested her head on her paws and there was a small clink coming from somewher on her chest as she did so. 

"I feel you." she sympathized, "Ony that in my case, the bird was my friend. And only because I left a couple of cat hairs lying around on her spear." the cat rolled her eyes and Muta had to give her a frown, eyes lit with a small flicker of curiosity. He then looked back at the crossroads. The two of them remained in silence for a long time until the purple furred cat spoke up again. 

"I'm Amethyst, a Crystal Gem." she said. Muta snorted. 

"What is that? A musical group?" he asked sarcastically. Amethyst lifted what would be her eyebrows. 

"You've never heard of the Crystal Gems?" she asked with amusement in her voice. 

"Of course I have. You are part of that group of ladies only that focuses on saving humanity." he said. "Not very different from The Cat Bureau if you ask me." 

"Is the Cat Bureau made entirely from cats or somethin'?" 

"Despite the name, only two of us are felines. Our old costumer and new member was about to become one and the other is an annoying Crow creation." Muta said in a gruff voice. 

"Ah, so that's the, ehem, 'stupid bird' you mentioned before?" Amethyst asked. 

"Take a guess." 

"He is." Amethyst sat up on her chair and Muta's eyes widened when he saw a round stone etched into her chest. "What is that?" 

"I was expecting you to react like that. This is my gem." she said with a smirk, tapping it with a paw. "Basically my heart." 

"So that's why you are called Amethyst?" Muta asked. 

"I am an Amethyst." She corrected. There was a bright flash of light and her shaped changed. Now there was a woman, rather short and young looking, with lavender skin, pale puple hair, wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt with a hole in the center to reveal the gem and shorts with a pair of stars stitched on the legs. She was neither fat nor thin, but somewhere between. She smirked at his slightly shocked look. 

"I bet you weren't exactly expecting that," she said smugly. Muta scowled. 

"Oh, just shut-" 

"Amethyst!" both of them jumped to see a tall and extremely thin woman standing at the far end of the crossroads. She was extravagantly dressed, with an aqua jacket to match her leotard and leggings. She had a pointed nose and pixie cut hair, as well as intense blue eyes. Amethyst sighed. 

"Well, duty calls. Perhaps I will see you on another day." she said, getting up. Muta grunted his response and watched her walk torwards the other woman with her hands in her pockets. He could hear their conversation and listened as he pretended to loose interest and curl up to sleep. This, after all, coud be a case for the Bureau. 

"Heya, Pearl!" she said. 

"Quit messing around. Garnet found what we are looking for." Pearl said. 

"Sounds great. Has it destroyed anything yet?" 

"No. But we need to act quick or it will." Pearl said. Muta watched them dissapear down the street, ears pricked. He waited for a beat before jumping off the chair and racing after them (he was surprisingly quick for his size). He slowed down and ducked behind a pair of trashcans as he listened to the women talk. 

"But who's sending them?" Amethyst was saying. 

"I don't know. But whoever it is, they seem to be taking advantage of... whatever is going on these days." Pearl anwsered, referring to the lockdown. 

"You don't seriously believe in it, do you?" Amethyst asked. Muta padded after them. 

"Oh, there might be a decease, but it's just... over rated. More people die from other things. Like war." Pearl said. 

"I don't see the point of this lock down. I miss being able to go for a walk without having to worry about time limits and social distancing and whatever else is a rule now." Amethyst said as they turned a corner. Muta quickly and easily pounced up onto a wall, trotting after them. He missed Pearl's response, but the walk was over anyways. Muta sat down on the wall as he watched the other two women dissapear, having collected enough information to know that this was a probable case for the Bureau. 

"Well done, Muta." Baron said aprovingly as Muta finished telling his story about the Gems. "I think that they might need our assistance, and perhaps Garnet will remember us." 

"Wait, you know the Crystal Gems?" Haru asked. It had been a surprise when she had been told that a TV show was actually real. Now the Bureau also knew the characters? 

Only their leader. She required a little help with capturing a dangerous Gem artifact after getting stuck after a Gem Portal failed to function." Baron said. Haru nodded. 

"That... somehow fails to surprise me. After all, The Bureau get involved in a lot of things." Haru said with a dry chuckle. 

"So? Are we going to offer them our help?" Toto asked from his perch. 

"Isn't that what the Bureau does best?" Baron asked with a smile. 

"I thought that was running." Muta muttered.


	2. Part 2

Amethyst was back at the crossroads, disquised as a cat, as she watched the small crowds pass by. Garnet and Pearl had decided that she was a good lookout. And apparently, a good babysitter. Steven sat on the other chair, mostly focusing on his cell phone as he texted his father. Amethyst sighed to herself. Her gaze moved to the other tables and she spotted a familiar cat who hadn't been sitting there before. She sat up.

"Hey, Steven, I'm gonna go sit over there. The view's better." She said.

"Okay." Steven said, giving her a quick smile before returning his attention to the phone. Amethyst pounced down from her seat and trotted over to the Bureau member. She silently pounced onto the other chair.

"Hey, cat I met yesterday." she said. Muta gave her a sideways look, ears flickering forward, before turning his gaze back to the Crossroad's streets.

"'Afternoon." he said with a yawn.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"I just ate." he replied, rather grudgingly.

"Suit yourself." Amethyst said, shapeshifting back into a human. A waiter came over to her, apparently haven't just seen a cat turn into the purple skinned woman he was attending.

"What would you like to order?" he said tiredly.

"Do you have any angel cake?" Amethyst asked. Muta's ears flickered at the last two words. She had a mental smirk.

"Yes."

"Then get me two slices, please." Amethyst said. The waiter walked back into the bar. Muta looked at her.

"Why-?" 

"I give you angel cake, you can help me a little." she said. The waiter came back holding two pkates of angel cake. As soon as he left, Amethyst placed one of them in fronto of Muta.

"Are you bribing me?" Muta asked.

"So what if I am? I want to know what the Bureau is." she said, leaning back in her chair with crossed arms. She glanced over at Steven, who was still on his phone and then looked back down at the cream-white cat seated in front of her. The animal let out an ever-suffering sigh.

" _Fine_." he groaned, taking a bite out of the cake. "We are nothing more than a little organization that focusses on solving problems." 

"Who's the leader?" 

"Show-off Baron Humbert von Gikkingen." Muta said.

"That's a long name." Amethyst mused.

"And innecesary, if you ask me." Muta grumbled, biting another piece of cake. "And I guess _your_ leader is someone called Garnet."

"Yeah." Amethyst said. Muta was done with the cake. Amethyst strategically gave up the other slice.

"You say you can help people and solve problems, right?" she said.

"That's what I said." Muta said. "And if you plan on asking us for help, then don't bother. Baron already suggested the idea." 

"How-?" 

"Er, let's just say that there was a cat passing by when they heard you speaking to the other woman and that cat reported to the Bureau." 

"So... you were eavesdropping on us." Amethyst said flatly.

"It was a possible Bureau case, kid. I don't often stick my nose in other people's business. That's Baron's job." Muta argued.

"Oh well." Amethyst sighed. "So, are you going to help or what?" 

"If you get the Crystal gems to the Bureau, we can make an agreement." Muta said.

"I will talk to the others this instant. Mind you keep an eye on Steven?" she nodded to the teenager sitting on the other table.

"Wait a-" Muta began to say, but Amethyst stood up.

"Thanks! I'll be back ASP!" she said, running off. Muta scowled.

"Stuck on babysitting duty once more." he grumbled, finishing up his angel cake. He jumped off the seat and made his way to Steven. The boy looked up at him as he pounced on the chair.

"Wait a moment, where's Amethyst?" he asked himself, looking around.

"Gone to get the Crystal Gems." Muta said, much to the boy's shock. "Hey, would you mind getting me a slice of angel cake?" 

"You left _Steven in the hands of a cat_?!" Pearl cried, wirling around to face Amethyst. The purple Gem raised her hands.

"Gee, Pearl, he's fine!" she said. "He offered to help us find-"

" _Are you delusional?!_ " Pearl did a facepalm with and groaned. "We have to get back to him!" 

"We will. Just, who is this cat you speak about?" Garnet asked, calm as ever.

"Some organization ran by a show-off- according to Muta- named Baron Humbert something something." Amethyst said. Garnet nodded to herself.

"Let's get going." 

"So, you don't have to worry about paying bills?"

"Gee, kid, I already gave you the anwser to that."

"Dude, I'm speaking to a talking cat."

"I thought you said you had been to space and met beings from another world." 

"Yeah..."

"So, a talking cat can't make much difference." 

Muta and Steven were sitting at the crossroads. Muta had eaten his way through three more slices (much to the waiter's puzzlement) and Steven had put his phone away. Steven was about to say something else when the Crystal Gems finally arrived at the scene.

"STEVEN!" Pearl cried, hugging him.

"Hey, I'm fine." Steven said, patting her back awkwardly. Pearl released him, eyes landing on Muta.

"And you are?" she asked.

"Muta." the overweight feline got to his paws and easily pounced off the chair. "Follow me or stay here. Your choice." with that, he walked to the route that leaded to the Bureau, the one that e had traveled with Haru that first time she went to the Cat Kingdom. The Gems were quick to follow after him, Steven stopping to give cash to the bewildered waiter. 

"Muta should be back soon," Baron said, looking up at the clock. 

"Unless he's stopped by to eat something." Toto added from his perch on the second floor railing.

"Do an effort and don't argue with Muta while our guests are here." Baron said in a tired voice.

"Hey, I think that's Muta!" Haru said from beside the window. And indeed it was, Muta walking through the archway of thebsanctuary. The cat walked straight to the green bech, grabbing the newspaper from the mailbox as he did so. The Crystal Gems appeared just seconds later. The magic on the archway caused the lot to shrink to Sanctuary size. Muta hammered on the window behind him.

"BARON!" he bellowed. "Skip your light show and just get on with it!" Baron and Haru exchanged knowing looks before Baron threw the Bureau doors open, light falling outside as he did so. He walked outside, followed by Haru. Toto stayed perched on the railing, watching from above. 

"Crystal Gems," Baron said, bowing and tipping his hat to the Gems, "Such a pleasure to meet you. My name is Baron Humbert von Gikkingen and this is the Bureau." 

"Long time, no see, Baron." Garnet said. Pearl, Steven and Amethyst were staring openly at the half-cat in front of them.

"Why don't you come inside for some tea while we talk about business?" Baron said. The others agreed. As they all filled intonthe Bureau, the doors closed.

"OI!" Muta cried. "What about _me_?!"


End file.
